Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Thoughts on Aging

You Know You’re Getting Old When:

1. The bank tellers and other business people in your life look like high school students.

2. You think every lousy driver on the road is “some stupid kid”.

3. On New Years Eve you’d rather stay home, eat snacks, watch movies and be with your family instead of going to a party.

4. An hour of hard physical work makes you feel like you’ve been beat with a stick, and you used to spend the whole day working in the yard or cleaning the house or walking for 18 holes of golf with never a second thought. Now you hire the yard to be maintained and the house to be cleaned and you ride on a golf cart.

5. After you sit for too long in one spot, when you get up, you creak and kind of “crip” along for a while until everything “loosens up” again.

6. Your feet keep getting bigger, your neck more wrinkled and your boobs more saggy. Body parts that used to be “pert” are now droopy.

7. Your idea of a big night on the town is dinner and a movie. Remember when you used to dance the night away??

8. The reality of “going shopping”, once the most fun thing you could think of, is that it now resembles an endurance race. You send up several prayers of thanks daily for the invention of Internet Shopping.

9. You’d rather be shot than go shopping on Black Friday or the day after Christmas. There is no sale that good.

10. In shoes and clothing, Comfort and Looks becomes more important than Looks and Price.

11. You feel the freedom of your age…..no worries about how sexy you look or whether it’s okay to go to the store with no make-up. You just go and never give it a second thought. Clean and neat is much more important than cute and sexy.

12. You need glasses to watch TV, drive, read or do most anything of interest. You used to have 20-20 perfect vision and you will never forgive your eyes for failing you.

13. You can tell how cold it is, not by watching the local weatherman, but by the degree of stiffness or pain in your joints.

14. Your mind is frequently making these BIG plans that your body can’t possibly keep up with. Your mind is young, your body is getting old. It’s very difficult to keep them properly in sync.

15. The little old gray haired lady sitting across the room is not your mother. It’s The Spouse. And your ages are very much in the same era.

16. You don’t worry greatly about holding your stomach in anymore, no matter who is there. It is what it is.

17. Sex is no longer the first, last and major thing on your mind. It’s not dead, but it’s resting a lot.

18. You know all the words to the “Oldies But Goodies” on the radio.

19. The youth around you talk about “The Sixties” like it is “history” or something. You were there. Wasn’t that just a couple of years ago??

20. You realize that WW2 was over a half century ago. Surely that cannot be. Many of today’s youth have no idea what December 7 represents.

1 comment:

Jan Ross said...

21. You are now working with a teacher who was one of your students.

22. You have a parent volunteer helping at your book fair who was also a student.